I am in awe of single mothers everywhere, be they by choice, chance, circumstance or tragedy.
When I think of the parenthood trials that Andy and I have experienced since coming home Sept. 19, I truly don't know how a woman — or a man — could raise a child alone. We've had bad colds, bad backs, lice, home appliance crises, big work deadlines, and just bad days where a parental time out was a priority.
This thought first struck on that afternoon in October when I felt my back go out for the first time in my life. This came after carrying our little girl everywhere for nearly a month, including through India, because she wouldn't let Andy hold her. I was in tears, I couldn't stand, sit, walk, turn over, etc. I don't know what would I have done without Andy to bring me ice and medicine, console Niranjana, call his chiropractor, drive us there, hold on to a little girl who was scared and confused, and otherwise take care of us.
We have a new friend who is going to be a single mom to a girl from India. Having met her, we know she has dedication and perseverance to be a great mom. And we can tell that she's the type who plans ahead, which is part of what the adoption process forces you to do.
But we knew when we formed those plans so long ago that we didn't really know what we were getting into. Our girl has been battling a fever the past two days — not sick enough for the doctor, but too sick for preschool. Who stays home? Can you take turns? How much sick leave do you have? How do you go to the store to get medicine without making your ill child feel worse?
Andy and I are developing a pretty good balance in our parenting styles, which means we're each able to keep our sanity while maintaining the family unit. And for so many reasons, I'd hate to be doing this alone.
All those single parents out there have my sincere respect.
Comments
Amen! Things are getting
Amen! Things are getting easier here after having Vija home for 2.5 months but we are still tired and we split the work pretty evenly. I am in awe of any single parent, especially single people who choose to be parents and then do it much more gracefully then myself! -Amy Chilton Thompson
Nikitha
Amy, we are taking Nikitha home soon and know that Vija is one-day older than her. We hope the girls can see each other again when she's been with us long enough to feel comfortable traveling somewhere new again. I wonder if they'll remember each other after six plus months of separation?!
Sandra Sunderaraj
I hear you.
I do not know how people do it without support or another spouse. Truly I don't. At least my sister and I were older (8 and 12) when my parents seperated. Still we know single parents of kids both Leif and Skadi's age.
And for me it isn't just the logistics and figuring out how much sick leave I can take. The other aspect is sharing. A weekend without my kids? You have to be kidding me! While it might be a nice relief on occasion (one of those reasons it would be nice to have grandparents nearby), I can't imagine splitting my time with my kids. That would break my heart.