Niranjana, Melissa and Andy

Our company put on a community-wide yard sale Saturday. For unfathomable reasons, I was dubbed the M.C. and given a live microphone for four hours. So I walked around making fun of people's junk as about 1,500 folks milled through 30 vendors' stuff.

I found a VHS copy of the Kevin Costner trainwreck Waterworld. I quipped that someone needed to buy it because there is just one copy of the film - and it moves from yard sale to yard sale.

I got a CD of The Best of Beavis & Butt-head, which my co-worker Eric will no doubt cherish.

But the find of finds was the most hideous Barbie doll ever made: Butterfly Art Barbie. It came out in 1998 and apparently was quickly pulled from shelves because it was so bad. It features a scantily clad Barbie with a big butterfly tattoo on her midriff.

It was $10 and I made it mine.

For the next two hours, I showed everyone at the yard sale what I referred to as "Skanky Barbie" - and what other horrified shoppers called "Trailer Trash Barbie" and "Britney Spears Barbie." I tried to sell it for $15 but had no takers. So I brought it home.

Melissa, whom I'd called from the yard sale, met me at the door, snatched the monstrosity from my hands and hid it from our darling daughter's prying eyes.

Niranjana might see it when she's 30. Then again, maybe not.