Not afraid of Big Daddy anymore

Those of you who have followed (or caught up on) our little domestic story probably realize that Niranjana didn't love her daddy too much early on. In fact, from about our fourth day in India back in September 2007 through, oh, that Christmas, she pretty much clung to Melissa for all she was worth.

Earning Niranjana's trust and love was long, arduous - and worth it. Frankly, it took less time than it did with Melissa (I asked her out for three years before she relented). Today, we're golden, and I relish every moment of being her daddy.

What bothered me for the longest time was why Niranjana seemed afraid. Was it a gender thing? There weren't many men around the orphanage in Chennai. Plausible, even highly likely. Was it all the changes going on in her little life? Probably. Melissa's gentle soul would be very attractive to a tiny person who is being swept away from everything she knew before. Was it my size? I'm 6'4" and a whole lot of man. I define "big and tall." I can seem intimidating until you get to know me.

I'll go with all of the above. And I've gotten a few clues from Niranjana in recent months.

Back in January, we held her birthday party at a local gymnastics business, which all the kids loved. Because of my chemo treatments, I wasn't in a physical position to offer much help with the party, so my primary job was getting Niranjana to the party on time and bringing her home. After the party, it was just Niranjana and me in the car on the way home. We talked about how much fun it was and what her favorite parts were. I mentioned how much fun it is being her daddy and how I was glad she had gotten over whatever fears she had of me. I didn't expect a response or even an understanding of what I said.

Instead, she said, "Daddy, I was scared. I just didn't know you!"

Wow.

She has said a couple of little things like that since, but last night took the cake. I was messing around with my iPod Touch (testing a new mobile site for work on the Web browser), and I pulled up a few photos for Niranjana to look at. One was of the three of us at the orphanage the day we got her. My mom took the photo, and it's a favorite. It shows two really happy parents and one completely frightened child.

I showed it to Niranjana and asked, "Who's that?"

She replied: "Mommy, Daddy and Niranjana! That was when I was scared of Big Daddy. I'm not scared of my Big Daddy anymore!"