Niranjana, Melissa and Andy

This is our third Christmas with Niranjana, but it's the first one that feels like it should, like a real Christmas.

Two years ago, Niranjana had been home with us for three months. Frankly, she didn't really "get" Christmas and she and I were still having attachment issues.

Last year, I started chemotherapy for stage four lymphoma less than two weeks before Christmas. The chemo did such a good job, my body had no white blood cells left by the week of Christmas. This was good for killing the cancer but made me susceptible to every cough because I basically had no immune system. Thus, I spent Dec. 23-26 wearing a surgical mask and going to the hospital to get a shot of Neupogen to get my bone marrow to generate new white blood cells.

This year, life is good. No attachment problems, no cancer and a whole new outlook on life, one that includes a level of inner calm and joy that I have not felt for a long, long time - maybe ever.

On Monday, I picked Niranjana up from school in the late morning and took her to lunch. My Kiwanis club was holding its annual Christmas program that included plenty of singing, and Niranjana enjoyed it a lot.

Then, we headed to the mall to see Santa. We arrived just as the big guy was going to feed his reindeer, so we went to shop for gifts. Niranjana picked out presents for Melissa, Ammaji, Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Joe.

Then we went back to stand in line to see Santa. After about 30 minutes - and on the verge of sitting on Santa's lap, Niranjana looked up at me with a pained look and said, "Daddy, I have to go potty!" I said that was fine but we would lose our place in line and have to stand there for another good long time. She decided to "hold it" and see Santa. We got a great photo with Santa in one take, then took off for the bathroom, making it in the nick of time, so to speak.

We then headed across the parking lot to Toys R Us so Niranjana could pick out her present from me. After going up and down every single aisle several times, she decided on a Three Musketeers Barbie toy (something about a carriage that turns into a hot air balloon). We were all shopped out and headed for home, where Niranjana got a second wind and played with the new toy for about an hour.

This year, Uncle Joe is here for Christmas. Ammaji (my mom) will be here on Christmas Eve. And Melissa's parents and aunt will arrive Dec. 26.

We're drinking egg nog on a regular basis, Melissa and Niranjana are making craft projects, the tree has been up since just after Thanksgiving, and we listen to and sing Christmas carols on a regular basis.

This feels good. This feels like Christmas.